Run, escape and end your life – Hubby and I battle with depression


Any patients are expecting to feel relief and comfort upon visiting a doctor but our visit was a stressful one.

Apology but I forgot his name, anyway he asked us to explain hubby’s situation.

We told him the full details from day one he felt the sudden nonstop palpitation and light-headed feelings.

I felt sorry for hubby as I can see how tired he is every time he needs to explain his situations. Aside from that both of us are still in denial on the diagnostic.

After the long explanations, the doctor agreed with us that hubby has a panic attack issue. We are eager to understand it better, why it happens, and most important is, if it’s curable and how we will handle it.

Our unbelievable consultation experience.

Instead of getting a refreshing answer he simply told us the below;

 “Listen, his case is self-explanatory from the word itself panic attack, you can search it in google. Just type the word P A N I C attack (he literally spells it letter by letter). Then it will show you many different references that can explain to you the meaning of it.”

My timid voice suddenly changed to a sarcastic one I told him this way;

“Doc the reasons we went here is to have a better understanding of my hubby’s situation from a professional person. If you will tell us to check it in google what is the point of consulting you?”

Good thing my parents raised me well and I manage to calm down a little despite my dismay.

He comforted us and explain his reasons why he wanted us to check it by ourselves. He said it would be useful for us etc and a lot of unbelievable explanations.

As per him, the best medicine is to accept that hubby has a panic attack. He justifies it with this example.

“We know that hitting the wall by our head will cause us extreme hurt, that is why we are respecting the natural law on it, same on your condition accept that you have panic attack try to relax and calm down when you feel it and soon you will be alright.”

After that, we left the clinic feeling so down. We are not really convinced and satisfied with that doctor’s feedback.

That time we felt scammed with the amount of AED 750.00 (consultation fee)

From a strong and brave man, hubby changes to an emotional person.

During those times I really don’t know how to handle hubby. The person I knew who was a strong, fighter, and confident changes to an emotional, weak, and unmotivated guy.

I felt that I am living with a different person, I really had a hard time adjusting to it.

What happened to the man that has been my strength for the past three years? it seems I am starting to lose him.

Finally, I found a better Doctor

I kept on checking a few doctors that might help him and explain to us better how to handle this so challenging trial.

Few days passed, I found another doctor in Satwa area. She is a Russian doctor, I was positive that she is good and more caring to her patient.

During the conversation I can feel her sincerity, the same scenario, she asked us to explain everything from the start.

As per her assessment, hubby reaches his maximum stress limit from his work, personal matter, or even the hard experience he went through from childhood.

She assures us that nothing to worry about, hubby’s case is simple to compare to her other patients. All we have to do is be cooperative and follow her instructions.

After the conversation, she informed hubby that they will communicate through email. Hubby needs to answer her questions and sometimes he needs to write his feelings on one particular day.

I don’t have any idea what did he wrote in his journal, it is just between him and the doctor.

As per him, it is a good therapy to write his feelings and thoughts for the day, it somehow relaxes his mind.

But in my observation, I never saw any improvement in him. Maybe I was just missing the old him. Still, I was hoping for the best result.

In his third session doctor informed us the result, as per her my hubby’s case doesn’t need a psychologist nor her words of encouragement instead we need to seek help from a psychiatrist.

We are a bit confused at that moment, as to what we knew psychologists and psychiatrists are the same. She explained that psychiatrists can prescribe proper medicine for their patients while a psychologist cannot.

The day we learned the exact word of hubby’s condition – depression.

She referred us to Dr. Kowal.

Dr. Kowal is such a great doctor, we are thankful that he was introduced to us. He told us that hubby is already suffering from mild depression.

I can’t believe it most especially my hubby, but with doctor’s help and explanation we learned how to handle it. The doctor kindly briefs us on how to handle it, and how long the medication may last.

As the first step, he issued him an antidepressant medicine. And at the same time, Dr. Kowal encourages hubby to challenge himself to be productive and discover himself better. From then on I’ve seen a big improvement with him.

As per doctor observation hubby is an intelligent guy who needs an outlet to release it. That is one of the reasons for his depression.

I am aware that I am married to an intellectual person which I am proud of. But I didn’t imagine the cons of it 🙂

After 4 years of battle

Currently hubby is still under Dr. Kowal’s supervision but medicine has lessened. Despite these hard situations both emotionally and financially I am still thankful at least we know where we stand.

Hoping that soon he will be better and doesn’t need to take that medicine.

So far hubby and I bonding is our blogging hobbies. This website is actually one of the products of our battle from his depression. Even him, couldn’t believe how he was able to create many websites without having any experience.

Depression product

Life is really amazing, for the past 4 years, both of us felt living in the dark. We never imagine his depression will lead us to be more closer and best friend.

If there are anyone of you guys who feel having a depression don’t be afraid to seek help from a medical professional, it would not only save you from pain but mostly your life.

Feel free to drop me a message in case we are in the same situation in life, maybe we can help each other. And the most important is to remain positive.

Hubby’s braveness to fight depression helps our marriage bond stronger. We are looking forward to the day we will say we survive the depression stage in our life.


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