Cancer – saddest moment to a child is to know that their parents are seriously ill.

Colon cancer the scariest words I ever heard in my life.

Back in my normal routine for almost a month now – A Filipina living and working overseas.

Though days have passed the memories I had in my recent trip at Philippines are totally fresh in my heart and mind.

That trip is one of the most emotional journeys of mine to my homeland.

My father was set for operation due to the cyst found in his colon. Before the operation, his condition is not totally clear for us.

We just thought that he needs to undergo an operation to remove the cyst found. He was already having a hard time to bowel and his stomach, waist-down is totally painful. The pain is something he couldn’t bear anymore, he said

The doctor’s advice is to do a quick operation. The worst thing might happen is he will need to have a colostomy bag.

With that scenario, our whole family was aware of it. With our research, we are really expecting that having colostomy bag will really be an option. Though we know that it will be uneasy for papa we are fine, as long as the pain he is getting through will be lessened.

The moment of operation day comes and we are all praying all will be fine. He went into the operating room around 1:00 pm and the operations last for 4 hours. 

Mom and I are just trying our best to be positive that all will turn well. Both of us are in pain emotionally and physically as we are already staying in the hospital for almost a week.

Around 05:00 pm the nurse on duty informed us that operation is already done. We prayed and give thanks to God, then we hurriedly went to the operating post to check papa’s condition.

As per the nurse on duty operation was fine but the doctor needs to discuss something with us.

After a few hours, the Doctor’s team finally approached us. They told us that papa is now having the colostomy bag, that is the best solution for his case at that time. The operation didn’t turn perfectly, the cyst is a bit bigger with lot of pus, and the worst is, it affects already the other intestine parts.

To cut the long Doctor’s medical explanation short. Papa has been diagnosed with Colon Cancer.

Colon cancer! I was trying to absorb that scary word in my mind quickly but it seems my mind and heart just can’t accept it.

As per the Doctor, they are suspecting it in stage 4.

My body feels so cold and knees are shaking. I want to run, hide, and cry alone but I calmed my self for mama.

I stayed with mama for a few minutes, we talk and give strengths to one another. That moment I would say she is stronger than me.

Tears came down from my eyes no words, no sounds. Then I stood up, take a walk to breathe to call my husband.
That is the moment that I burst out of my emotions out loud.

I was feeling weak and unexplainable sadness hits me. I couldn’t explain how I was feeling that moment. Sad, scared, hopeful but feeling down.

I know I just need time and let my mind absorb this hard situation.

That moment I realize how really hard the life we need to live in this world is. Our life cycle totally makes all of us sad and hopeless. 

I realized how really time flies, my younger years with this Strongest Guy is still fresh in my mind. But looking at him, the reality is so painful that he aged.

Despite this emotion I know I need to be positive, strong and just fight the battle we are facing right now.

Like a strong soldier who will not let others defeat him in the battle easily, let us not any sickness or problem defeat us to remain positive and love life.

Let us just put our trust to God above that soon all with better.

• My saddest flight back home
• Siblings love is forever

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