Financial Bully Spouse
I heard this topic on the radio program this morning, it is about one couple who are both working. Their salaries are both decent, the set up since they got married is both incomes are combined and handles by B, of course, they are now one and the marriage principles should be applied.
Everything is fine during their first two years of being married. After a while, the situationPreview Changes (opens in a new window)s have changed because of the excessive use of credit card (let me give them an initial, the over spender is A and the budget conscious is B)
A become addictive in one hobby that makes A secretly used their credit card in purchasing items with a big amount. B doesn’t have any idea on that since the credit cards are under the name of A.
Every time the payment due date is there A is asking B for an amount to pay. At first, B is not asking anything and just simply giving the money to pay for it. One situation awakens B, why the amount is getting bigger and bigger. So B asked A what happens to the card, why the amount they need to pay is too much and B started to worry. A inform B it is because of the credit card shield and some insurance. B is such naive to believe A, as B don’t know much about credit cards.
When B consulted a friend and informed about their situation on the credit card, how the banks worrying B because of too much interest, B’s friend told B that would be impossible, there is only a percentage and limit for credit card shield and it would not reach in the amount that A informed to B.
The friend feels something and asked B to check with A the statement of account just to clear things up. At first, A refused and making B feel guilty that B doesn’t trust A. So B let it pass for another 2 months to monitor if something will change, but there is no improvement.
So B really lose the temper and no matter what, once and for all B wants to know the truth and see the statement of account, after the big fight A showed B the statement. B feels betrayed and stupid in believing everything that A said before, the friend intuition is true something is being hidden.
To B shocked, without any idea they are now financially drowned not only in 1 bank but with 2. And the combined salary would not be able to cover up the charges.
A apologize and explain why it has been done on A part. B forgives A totally, the broken trust is a bit hard to fix but B did all the best can do and because of the love, B did it.
It happened again for many times, but B just tried to understand A anyways, B just thinks, it is only money, they can earn it again, what matters are they had fixed their relationship, as long as they are together it would be fine. Even though it is really hard to budget their finances as they need to pay the damages for many years B just accepts it.
B, deals with it for many years. But what makes more hurt B, every time they are having a serious fight A’s attitude is, as if B is not working and A is the good provider and threatening B to return the ATM back where A’s salary is transferred and to give back the car key.
B is asking the radio program DJ if A is being a financial bully. Though the credit card & car are under A’s name, but B is paying as well for all their expenses and credits, A feels offended.
Ohhh, I don’t know the reasons on both sides, but when I am trying to figure it out and put my shoes on B’s situation I really feel sorry for B. I know the feeling as I am a working wife and budgeting is not an easy task most especially if the expenses are beyond the budget. How I will be budgeting the under budget salary it seems hard.
And the nerve of A to act like that, I am thinking if ever this would happen to me I don’t know how I would deal with my husband.
Watch your word A before you react that way, make sure B is not doing anything and just waiting for your salary.
Actually. this is my first time to encounter this term”financial bully” additional knowledge for me today:)