5 tips you need to think before saying the sweet words I DO
Tips to think before the wedding
In recent days, I have received many messages on the topic of how to get married in the UAE.
It is interesting to know that despite the pandemics and problems the world faces, many still want to take on serious responsibilities in life.
You read that right, weddings are not just about a thrilling celebration. It has an associated responsibility, it is something serious that means forever.
Before you embark on your wedding planning, it is best to think carefully about whether you are ready to enter this new phase in your life. Sit down, meditate, and analyze if you are really ready.
Do not think that I want you to doubt your wedding plan, I just want that before you do it you are ready without hesitation.
I have been married for nine years, and have been through a lot of trials in married life I think I am in a position to give simple advice before you get married.
For me, these are the simple things you can consider before you plan a wedding
1.The weakness of your fiancé
If I were to ask you a thrilling question why do you love your fiancé? what qualities do you think of it?
Maybe the ones on your list are good and loving qualities. That’s right, surely none of us want to fall in love with someone who has no good qualities.
But if your only basis for loving your fiancé is pure positive qualities it does not guarantee a solid foundation of your relationship.
Everyone has his or her weaknesses and imperfections. You may not notice it right now or you may not be taking it seriously but you should also keep those in mind.
Of course, because of your love for your fiancé, you may not notice or mind his weaknesses.
But once you get married and are together every day, you may start to notice her/his negative habits. If it used to be ok with you maybe now it is a big deal.
Being married does not guarantee that your fiance’s not good habits will improve for the better.
So before you get to the point where you can think; why is he behaving like this, I hope he changes and more.
This is the right time to think carefully, am I ready to accept any weaknesses of my fiancé?
2.Marriage is forever … are you ready to love the same person over and over again?
If you both believe in and respect the biblical law that marriage is a lifelong union, no matter what happens good or bad you are willing to love the same person over and over again every day.
Your fiancé is the person you will be with until you grow old, your eternal companion.
Over the days when you are together in the same house, you will get to know each other better, good and bad attitude will come out.
If you ever come to the point where you notice that he has a lot of negative habits that you do not want anymore, it is not an acceptable reason to divorce.
Now is the time to make sure you accept the weakness of your fiancé, and you are ready to be with him with that attitude until you help him change for the better, together as a married couple.
Many will say, it does not matter, the only thing that matters is my fiance, as he/she is the only one I will deal with.
If that is what you believe, you are only fooling yourself.
In non-Asian countries this is normal, but in our culture the family tradition, the background matters.
As early as possible discuss with your fiance your plans about each family.
- like, once you are married, do you plan to live with your family/parents? Are they still on your top priorities in terms of providing continuous financial support?
The above questions are some of the serious things you should discuss and plan carefully. It should be now, not by the time you get married.
If you do not take the time to talk about it, it can be a problem later on. In fact, it is one of the causes of an unsuccessful marriage in our country.
Sounds weird right?
But based on some experiences I have had, knowing the health of your fiancé is serious and important.
I have known a few people who have suffered unwillingly because they do not know the health history of their fiance.
If you are seriously ill your fiance has the right to know it prior to your wedding. Or better yet you ask your fiance frankly. By doing this you are preparing him/her for whatever scenario might happen fairly.
In case an unwanted situation happens, there will be no regret thoughts.
The hurtful words like; what if, if I only knew will never arise.
Some examples of people I know;
The girl never mentioned that she has been a cancer patient many years back. She never tells that to her fiance at all. In short, the guy never has any idea of the pain he will face in marriage life. Not even reaching two years being married, the sad situation happens, cancer came back.
Cancer worsen which leads to long medication. The treatment process and expenses drained not only their bank account but also the husband’s emotions.
As per him, he loves his wife, but as a human, he felt that his wife betrayed him by not telling her health condition from the start of their relationship. For him, it was so unfair.
On the other part, telling your health condition honestly with your partner before marriage will show your love and respect.
One of my friends who honestly told his now-husband; if they will get married, and in case they will not have kids would that be an issue? does he accept the thoughts of a marriage without any children?
She told him that these questions are very important for her because of her health issue concern to conceiving.
The guy assures her that it is not a problem at all. What only matters for him is their love for one another.
After many years of being married, the situation never changes, the girl never gets pregnant.
The time came that the wife feels self-pity as all of her age are starting to have their kids. When she told that predicament to her husband, the husband reminded her that at the start of their relationship they promise that not having children will never be an issue.
The above two examples just show us a good or bad effect in the future if in case you are not aware of your fiance health condition.
5. Financial obligations
How is your fiance finances, do you know if he got involve in serious debt. It is better to know it unless you want to face the burden of paying huge debt after saying the I DO.
The above points are just base on my observations and experience, I am not forcing you to apply that to your decision, it is still up to you how you view things.
But if you are open-minded you can try to consider the above for starting your marriage life with a good foundation.
A married couple consists of two imperfect individuals, having a happy ending will never be possible.
Trials, problems will always be part of your life together, but it would depend on both of you, how you can make your married life a happy and successful one despite the weaknesses and imperfections.
Don’t believe in your favorite fairy tale or a love story about marriage life. It doesn’t have any magic to make things better, it is about two people working hard to fulfill their promise the time they take a vow of marriage.
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